


Birthday Blues

by BWolf_20



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Birthday, Gen, Loneliness, Prison, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 20:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16145375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: Negan awakens one morning and realizes it’s his birthday. Spending it in Rick’s cell wasn’t part of the plan of course. Then again, birthdays had never been very special after the world fell apart.





	Birthday Blues

When Negan opened his eyes, he was greeted with the same dull, gray walls. It was always the same now with everyday practically mirroring the previous one. But as he laid on his cot staring at it, he realized this morning wasn’t like the others. He shifted his eyes to the scratch marks he’d made to keep track of time, and it proved to confirm his thought.

“Holy shit, it’s my goddamn birthday,” he muttered.

He certainly didn’t expect to spend it behind Rick’s pleasant little prison. After being there for months, he expected he would have had a way out by now from either a failure to lock the door or a Savior coming to the rescue. He glanced at the door, wondering if he might be so lucky as to have an unlocked door on such a special day.

He threw his feet over the side of the cot and walked over to test it. There was no failure.

“Damn it,” he muttered.

His birthday would be spent just like the days before it. With a sigh, he dropped his head against the bars and shut his eyes. Birthdays had always been a big staple in his life. He hadn’t been one of those guys who treated it as another day. If it was his birthday, he expected party goers to buy him several rounds of beers and pay for a load of women to give him a lap dance. There was tons of laughter, the sauciest, greasiest foods, and hours wrapped up in a pool game. There was always a large cake loaded with frosting, usually of the chocolate kind, and making it all the more enjoyable was listening to his boys drunkenly sing Happy Birthday. And what birthday cake was complete without candles?

They’d almost always took place at some bar, but after he’d found Lucille, a couple of parties were stationed at home. He always cherished hearing her say “Happy birthday sweetheart”, before giving him a sweet sweet kiss. Naturally such passion would continue into the night under the covers. In his opinion, birthday sex was the best kind of sex.

The smile stayed in place on his face as the memories surfaced. When he opened his eyes, the smile dropped as the drab walls of the jail greeted him. 

Negan walked over to the window where little sunlight drifted inside. He wished it was possible to see a card slip through the window bars from one of his men. Even though there were no more beers, stable bars, or even old friends and the love of his life, he still tried to have a hell of a birthday at the Sanctuary. It was the one time there was an attempt at a good cake. There weren’t any candles to blow out, but having the Saviors surround him to sing had always been entertaining.

It hadn’t lasted since it was clear singing wasn’t something of interest to them, therefore it felt too mandatory. Going forward, he'd accept a birthday wish thrown at him as they watched him take in the cake his wives would have created for him. Usually a few people had a gift to present to him, and afterwards he took a few on in some rounds of ping pong. Birthday sex was still a must, but in this go around with his new wives, it no longer felt like the best kind of sex. What made it worse was the lack of sincerity from said wives when they wished him a happy birthday.

He made sure his birthday traditions remained in place as they were the one last normal speck of the life before. It was one day where everyone became aware of how special he was, and they were never ignored. They were always cherished. 

As he dragged his feet back to the cot, his heart twisted at the fact that it would no longer be the case. Now his birthdays would be just another day unless Rick came through with a cake full of lit candles. He wondered if there was a chance that a Savior might have told him what day it was, but he didn’t hold his breath.

He plopped back down on his cot with a heavy sigh.

“Happy goddamn birthday to me,” he said bitterly.

Since this day was just like any other, he simply laid there. He had no will to even think of doing anything to somehow make it special. He briefly thought of tracing out an outline of a cake on the wall, but the idea died quickly. It was all just too depressing.

An Alexandrian came around with his lunch, but for once he didn’t acknowledge his visitor like he normally would. In fact he didn’t bother to touch the tray of food that sat on the floor. 

He was left alone for a while, which he found he preferred for once. But much later in the day, the door creaked open. His expression fell flatter as he recognized the sound of the person coming down the steps. He didn’t bother turning as Rick entered and came to a stop a few feet from the bars.

“Not hungry?”

Negan turned and noticed he was eyeing the untouched food. He forced a smile on his face.

“Was hoping for something a little different today.”

Rick raised a brow.

“What makes today any different from the others?”

Negan grimaced and looked away. Rick stepped closer, eyeing him curiously.

“Something wrong?”

Right away he felt some offense at the question.

“Is something wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?” He straightened up on the cot and glared at his warden. Rick had no clue what day it was, and he knew he wouldn’t give a damn. There was no one to give a damn about it anymore anyways. But he refused to bring that much up. “There’s plenty wrong here, but there’s no point in us going on about that like we usually do. So let’s just say I’m not fucking hungry.”

Rick wasn’t convinced, but shrugged it off.

“Suit yourself. I just stopped by to let you know you may not see me for a few days.”

This bit of news intrigued Negan. 

“Why’s that?”

“I’m going on a run in the city. While I’m gone, I expect you to behave yourself.”

“Don’t I always?” he asked as he flashed him a sly grin. Rick wasn’t impressed as he turned to head back out. But he wasn’t ready for him to leave. He’d been alone all day, and birthdays weren’t days to be spent alone. “Wait…I got a question to ask you.”

He waited for Rick to face him before continuing.

“How do you go about celebrating getting another year older? Get shitty faced drunk? Have a bunch of topless women dancing all over you?”

Rick frowned.

“What does it matter how I celebrate my birthday?”

Negan just shrugged.

“Just curious. We talk about a lot of things, and it’s high time we settled on a new subject.”

Rick still found it an odd topic of discussion, but saw no harm in answering.

“I was never big on birthdays. Never cared a whole lot for being the center of attention.”

At that, Negan feigned a look of surprise.

“You’re shitting me. The great Rick Grimes not out for attention? I don’t buy it.”

“Doesn’t matter if you don’t buy it. Eat up.” He nodded at the abandoned food. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

The bitter feeling that had filled him on this forgotten, special, day started to leave an unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. Once Rick hit the first step of the stairs, he couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

“It’s my birthday,” he said flatly. What good was there to get excited about it when nothing would change for him? When year after year after year, all he’d ever see was the bars of his cell. It would just be counting down his demise. 

He looked over at Rick, waiting for him to say something. He expected him to say nothing. They weren’t friends, so why should he care.

A minute went by before he finally said something.

“Happy birthday.”

After that, Rick continued his ascension to freedom. Negan leaned back against the cot, not thrilled about the reaction, yet the smallest smile appeared on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Knowing that Negan spends at least a year behind bars, his birthday would of course come up. So I wondered how he'd respond to that. I figured he'd be a little depressed about it. It'd be interesting if it comes up in an episode in Season 9, but I doubt it.


End file.
